Dont Save Her, She Don’t Wanna Be Saved”: Let her have her Hoe Phase…by @kortkobane

First things first, I wrote this piece to Drake’s “Houstalantavegas”

The Hoe Phase is a phase in a woman’s life where she experiments and gets to know herself sexually. There’s always been a stigma attached to the word “hoe” and the period in which women go through this time of sexual freedom and liberation. The misconception about the hoe phase is that women are just openly sleeping with any and every guy that they meet without just cause. In some cases this can be true, but for the most part from what I understand its just a time in a woman’s life where she just wants sex with no strings attached, and more importantly, to have fun.That’s where we come in.

Unfortunately, society has created a double standard when it comes to men and women, and exercising their sexual liberties. We invite this behavior and then want to chastise women if we get hurt and thats not how this works. Dealing with women who are open and honest about what they want and where they are in life is something we should cherish and encourage because if it were us (men) we would be giving high fives and saying shit like “thats my nigga!” after he has slept with numerous women in a short time.

Dating is a two way street. We need to learn that there are ways to deal with women who are just as “savage’’ as us. There are a few things we need to consider when dating women who are going through their “Hoe Phase” and how to not hurt each other and learn that if the right expectation is set it can be fun for both parties involved while no one gets hurt.

Number one….Don’t be Superman, if you are dealing with women who are shooting from the hip and have no intention of being wifed, don’t be the guy trying to save her, because clearly, she isn’t looking to be saved. You are not Drake and lets be real if you aren’t ready to really change her life for the better, don’t try to save her to protect your ego. Roll with the punches. We know we are more than a dick appointment but it is what is for the time being. Have fun with it, and if you want more from it, see how it pans out, but don’t force it.

Be prepared for her to not spare your feelings. She’s probably listening to Rihanna records singing in the mirror “you were just another nigga on the hit list.” Yeah we know, but to set a reasonable expectation for yourself, you know when a woman is looking for commitment and when she’s not, and if she’s not, look forward to unanswered texts and calls being returned 3 days later. She’s having her fun. Whether you make the cut or not, be a gentleman, dick her down, and when she’s ready for round 2 she’ll hit you up. Don’t be pressed, you’ll only set yourself up to get your feelings hurt and then you’ll be simping. because you weren’t ready for her to tell you the real. Or she’ll just never come back around because you tried to ruin her fun, talking about love and shit. Man up, if she really likes you, she’ll tell you.

Don’t throw your other women in her face, keep it thorough and respect each other’s space. If its just sex, let it be that. Again, a lot of the hurt from these situations comes from one person trying to have leverage over the other. As men, we hate when someone has leverage over us, especially in a situationship with a woman we potentially like. So what do we do? We ruin it and say something like “you know how many bitches wanna be with me?!” Please don’t do that. You’ll only turn her away and all you were really trying to do was let her know she wasn’t the only one because you let your emotions get the best of you and if she claps back and lets you know you’re not the only guy she’s sleeping with, you’ll be crushed. Even if you knew already, the truth hurts. Keep it fun and casual and you won’t run into this.

Lastly, If you happen to fall for her, be prepared to lose her if she isn’t ready. She’s not in this for relationships. But if you like her, tell her. Just know that at this point in her life she’s in it for the fun. Women are fascinating creatures, but navigating around the nuances of whatever phase they are at in life can be interesting. For what it’s worth, they always know what they want — except for when it comes to food. They never know what they want to eat, but that’s another story. But if you happen to meet a woman that you’re into, but love is the last thing on her mind, don’t force it. Be there when she needs you, sex her when she wants, and cook her cheese eggs if she happens to sleep over, but never ever try to make her feel bad for being

Follow @kortkobane on Twitter and read more of his thought over on Medium


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